Eff Offensive Fouls In The Butt

Maybe I’m just old fashioned, but I still enjoy taking a nice girl to dinner and a movie, I still enjoy my porn on VHS and I still enjoy basketball games that are decided by clutch jump shots, not offensive fouls! I’m all for great defense, but man up and play great defense. Why was Michael Jordan’s game winner in Game 6 of the 1998 finals so special? Because Byron Russell was busting his ass on defense but just couldn’t stay with him.

 At least Russell tried.

Tonight charges killed what could have been an epic Jazz v. Nuggets game-- It still was pretty darn good. With 1:17 left and the Jazz up 108-106, C.J. Miles flopped down on a Carmelo Anthony drive and drew an offensive foul, Carmelo’s 5^th. Yes, Melo lowered his shoulder. Yes, it was the right call. I don’t care. It was also clear that Miles was going to flop no matter what move Melo made. Miles got lucky and as an audience we missed out on a possible great Melo moment. Then but 27 seconds later, the score now 108-107 Jazz, a methodical Kyle Korver drive collided with a stationary Nene. Guess what, offensive foul. Not to worry. Don’t blink you’ll miss it. Next time down the court Korver stepped in front of Chauncey Billups and… TOOK A CHARGE. Give me a break. I get that defenders need a weapon against wildly driving guards. We’ve all played against that guy at the YMCA who just drives and calls fouls every time, but late game charges take away from great games.

 If you can't guard him, try letting him bump into you and then falling backwards.

Just like my girlfriend when she washes off her makeup, charges really take me out of the mood. It is obviously “good defense” under the current rules, but have you ever thought about how subjective a charge call is? Were the defender’s feet set? Was the defender in the cylinder? Was the offensive player in the air? Did he release the ball before contact? Did the offensive player lower his shoulder? Was the defender leaning forward? You're telling me a referee can determine all of these things in a split second? Bull! Half the time another referee is giving a different signal.

The truth is, I don’t even want a block called. I don’t care if Melo can hit two foul shots, I want to see if he can hit a step back jump shot in C.J. Miles grill! That’s the whole reason we watch the game! To see the best players get their special on.

Basketball obviously can’t get rid of the charge all together, but what if it was a foul, but the offense kept the ball? I don’t know, I don’t have the answer, but late game charges just aren’t doing it for me.